Shattered
by LedZepGrl
Summary: How many times can Jackie break before she shatters? Starts off after Sam shows up in season 8. Warning: Drugs, sex, and alcohol. JH
1. Chapter 1

**Shattered**

A/N: Don't own any characters of That 70s Show. Damn.

**Chapter 1 – In A Way I Need A Change, From This Burnout Scene**

Jackie Burkhart sat at the kitchen table in the apartment she shared with Fez. She stared at the bottle of vodka and the shot glass that sat on the table.

IT had been six weeks. Six weeks since her world had come crashing down around her. Six weeks since the day the slut Sam had walked through the door at the Forman's and announced she was Steven Hyde's wife. Jackie had run from the room the moment she heard those words. How could he marry a stranger, when we couldn't even commit to his girlfriend of over two years?

She didn't think she would stay. She didn't think Hyde would want her to stay. But what did Jackie know? It was almost like she didn't even know who he was anymore. Because she did stay. And Hyde let her. And he didn't let her forget that she was there and married to him.

Jackie sighed as she played the images over in her head. She has been doing this multiple times a day for the last six weeks. She looked at the bottle of vodka again. Fez would be home from work soon, and would want her to go to the basement with him. He didn't like going alone anymore, since things were so different. Hyde and Sam were always sucking face. Kelso was in Chicago, and Eric was in Africa. Donna sulked around, and that new kid Randy was always there, being annoying. Fez still enjoyed going there however, if only to partake in a circle. She knew that by going with him, it made him feel more comfortable. But it had become almost unbearable for her to go there anymore.

Two weeks ago she was out grocery shopping when she walked down the liquor isle. She looked at all the choices that were in front of her. Any of these choices had the ability to help number her pain. After much deliberation, she chose a bottle of vodka. She went back to the apartment, put the groceries away, and sat at the table with the bottle of vodka and the shot glass. She stared at it for a long, long time.

Eventually she poured herself a shot and downed it. It burned on its way down, and made her gag. After a moment she felt it enter her blood stream, and she felt a rush of warmth throughout her body. She felt good, something she hadn't felt in weeks. A second shit soon followed, and then a third. By the time Fez got home, she had four shots done, and was feeling good. She willingly went to the basement with him that day, and it had been almost bearable.

Two weeks later, it required more than four shots to get her going and feeling good. She was building up a tolerance, and way too quickly. But she didn't care anymore. She wanted to feel good, and not feel pain and hurt over Steven Hyde.

One shot, two shots, three shots, four shots, five shots, six shots. She took all six shots down like a champ, not even feeling the burn anymore.

"Hello my beautiful goddess!" She heard Fez's voice sing out as he walked in the door. Jackie rolled her eyes. She hated living with Fez and hearing him say things like that, but at this point she had nowhere else to go and no other choice.

"What's up?" Jackie asked with a slight slur.

Fez looked at the bottle and back at Jackie with concern in his eyes. He seemed to be the only one concerned for Jackie these days.

"How much have you had today?" He asked her.

"I don't know. Not much. Four shots?" She lied/

Fez sighed. "Shall we go to the basement?"

Jackie rolled her eyes. "Yea whatever. I don't care."

Fez drove them over to the Forman's. He looked over at Jackie as she seemed to fall in and out of consciousness. This was becoming more and more common over the last few weeks. He tried to talk to her about it, but she kept brushing him off, telling him she was fine.

They walked into the basement to find Sam sitting in Hyde's chair. Jackie scowled when she saw her.

"The Forman's are still allowing cheap whores in their home I see." Jackie slurred.

Sam looked up from the magazine she was reading and smirked.

"Gee Jackie, how much did you have to drink today in order to drag your sorry ass here?"

Jackie just scowled, wishing she could make herself throw up all over Sam.

Hyde walked out from his room and saw Jackie sitting on the couch. He hated seeing her there almost every day. He had hoped that she would stop coming around once he kept Sam around. Yet she kept showing up with Fez.

"Hey Jackie. Good to see you could pull yourself out of your drunken stupor to grace us with your presence today," Hyde said.

Jackie sat on the couch with her arms folded and ignored the two of them, like she had been doing for weeks. Just like every other day she went to the basement, she questioned why she was even there. She looked up when the door opened, and saw Donna and Randy walk in, looking a little too comfortable with each other.

"Urgh Donna, you have the worst taste in guys," Jackie slurred.

Donna shot Jackie a dirty look. "I could say the same about you Jackie," she said. It pained Jackie so much to think Donna just didn't care about her anymore. Donna had been her very best friend the one person she could turn to besides Hyde. But she felt she had betrayed her over the last six weeks, and Jackie couldn't go to her anymore about how she was feeling.

Jackie felt a wave of nausea come over her, which she knew meant she needed more vodka. She had some stowed in the car. She stood up to leave and go guzzle some in the driveway.

"Go guzzle some more alcohol, booze bag," she heard Sam sneer as Jackie closed the door behind her.

Once Jackie got to the top of the stairs, she saw Red was in the garage tinkering with his car. She decided not to go to the car and have a drink. She hated having Red and Kitty sere her like this. Instead she stumbled out to the road and started walking towards the nearest bar.

She walked into the nearest tavern to the Forman's and sat at the bar. The bartender looked at her, and she muttered "Vodka rocks." The bartender set the glass in front of her almost immediately. She barely looked up when someone sat down next to her.

"Vodka rocks, huh? That's hardcore," said a male voice.

Jackie looked up to a man who looked to be in about his thirties. Jackie just smiled. He held out a pack of cigarettes and offered one to her. She took it and lit it.

"So what's a pretty girl like you doing in a bar like this alone?" He asked her. Jackie just shrugged as she puffed on her cigarette. She saw the guy mod his head out of the corner of her eye.

"I'm sure you here for the same reason as the rest of us. Trying to numb some sort of pain," he said.

Jackie looked up at him then, with tears in her eyes. He then smiled.

"Alcohol only does so much to numb the pain," he said. "Have you ever snorted a line of coke?" He asked her softly.

Jackie bit her lip and shook her head no. She had dabbled with the idea of drugs. Sure, she had smoked her fair share of pot, but that was more of a fun drug. The only reason she hadn't tried anything else was simply because she couldn't get her hands on it.

The guy smiled at her as she shook her head no. "Well this is your lucky day lady." He held out his hand, and Jackie took it. Part of her was screaming at her, telling her this was wrong and to stop and run away. But the other half, the more damaged half, just didn't care anymore. Didn't care of this guy raped and killed her. She just didn't want to feel the pain anymore.

"MY name is Greg," he said as he led her out to his car.

"Jackie," she answered.

She got into the passenger side of his car, and watched as he snorted a line. She watched as he threw his head back in pure euphoria. Jackie wanted to feel that same feeling, and was eager to try. He smiled when he saw the eagerness in her eyes, and prepared a line for her. Jackie took it up, and felt more amazing than she had in weeks.

She looked over to Greg and smiled.

"Want to head over to my place?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Shattered**

**Chapter 2 – Another Time, Another Town, Another Everything. But It's Always Back To You**

** A/N – Still don't own anything**

Fez's alarm went off, waking him up for a new day. He yawned and stretched, and got out of bed and walked towards the bathroom. He stopped by Jackie's closed bedroom door and frowned when he heard loud snoring coming from the room.

He hadn't seen much of Jackie over the last two weeks. After she left the basement a few weeks ago after fighting with the gang, Fez went outside to see if she had gone to the car for a drink. He didn't see her there, but didn't think much of it, thinking she walked back to the apartment like she had done many times before. When he got home that night, she wasn't there. He tried not to worry, and go out looking for her because he didn't want to see overbearing. He heard them come home that night around 3:00 A.M. They came stumbling in, laughing and being loud. Fez didn't get out of bed, hoping it would be just a one night thing.

Two week s later it was still happening. She would sleep all day and then be out all night. He had met the Greg character once during the last two weeks. After four nights of her antics, he stayed up for her, wanting to talk to her.

_Fez sat on the couch in the living room impatiently. It was 3:00 A.M. and knew Jackie would be walking through the door any minute. Ten minutes later, she opened the door and stumbled in, with the guy closely behind. _

_ "Fez!" Jackie exclaimed when she saw him sitting there. She ran over to give him a hug. Fez could smell the alcohol and cigarettes on her breath._

_ "Jackie, what are you doing?" He asked her._

_ "Giving you a hug! I haven't seen you in days!" She exclaimed. "Oh! Greg, this is my roommate Fez and my best friend! Fez, this is Greg."_

_ "Jackie, you're drunk," Fez stated._

_ "Duh! Well, good night!" _

_ She jumped off his lap and dragged Greg into her bedroom._

Fez scowled again before walking into the bathroom. He decided that he needed to finally intervene, and help her before she hit rock bottom.

* * *

Jackie woke up in the late afternoon with a raging headache. She looked over to see Greg had already left, which was typical. She would meet up with him later that night.

She walked into the kitchen to grab a drink. She found a note on the table from Fez, asking her to meet him at the Forman's later that night. Jackie laughed, and crumpled the paper and threw it out. She was planning on never setting foot in that house ever again.

She sat down with a vodka on the rocks, and prepared to get ready for another night of booze and drugs with Greg.

* * *

Fez sat in the Forman kitchen scowling. He had asked Jackie to meet him at the Forman's so he could talk to her with them. He wasn't surprised she didn't show up, but was still disappointed.

He walked down the basement stairs with a scowl on his face, and sat in the lawn chair with the scowl in place still.

"What's wrong little buddy?" Hyde asked from behind Sam, who was sitting on his lap. Fez's scowl deepened when he saw the blonde on his lap. He looked over to the couch and saw Donna and Randy making googly eyes at each other. His anger rose even more.

"You guys are all sons of bitches!" Fez exclaimed and crossed his arms.

Donna looked over at Fez curiously. "What the hell was that for?" She asked.

"I have barely seen Jackie in weeks. She is off self-destructing with booze and alcohol and romping around with some guy named Greg, and it's all your faults!" He screamed.

Donna rolled her eyes. "Fez, how can you blame this in us? We didn't sleep with Kelso in Chicago," she said.

"She didn't sleep with Kelso!" He screamed. "And you are definitely all to blame! You Hyde, running off to Vegas and marrying the first whore you could find and breaking her heart. And you Donna, befriending that whore when you're supposed to be Jackie's best friend. And then ignoring her so you can flirt with hair boy over here! She has been dealing with so much hurt and pain, and you guys are too involved with your crappy lives to care!" Fez exclaimed.

Hyde stared at Fez. "Did you say Greg?" He asked Fez.

"Yes, you son of a bitch!" Fez said.

"Greg White?" He asked Fez.

"I have no idea. I have only met the son of a bitch once. He just looks like bad news. He's got her doing some kind of drugs, I just can't figure out what," Fez explained.

Hyde's face turned white. "If it's who I think it is, this guy is bad news. I know him through Leo. He's hard core into cocaine," Hyde said.

Sam looked down at Hyde. "Why do you care?" She asked Hyde.

"Because like I said, this guy is no good for her. For anyone," Hyde said.

"So what? Jackie deserves to end up in a ditch," Sam said.

Four pairs of shocked eyes turned their looks towards Sam.

"What the hell Sam! Just because you don't like Jackie doesn't mean you have the right to say shit like that!" Donna yelled.

"About time you defend your supposed best friend," Fez muttered.

"Fez, look, you're right. I was too caught up in my own life to know what was going on. And I feel extremely guilty. What can I do to help?" Donna asked.

"I had left her a note asking her to meet me here tonight, but she didn't show. I am going to speak to the Forman's and ask them to come to our place to help me talk to her. But, I don't think you should come. I don't want her to feel ambushed," Fez said.

Donna nodded, with tears in her eyes. How could she have been so insensitive and blind? If anything happened to Jackie, she would feel terrible.

Hyde cleared his throat. "Well, uh, I hope it all works out man," Hyde said hiding behind his Zen.

Fez sighed. "I'm going to talk to Mr. and Mrs. Forman," he told the gang as he got up and walked up the stairs.

* * *

Hyde stood in the back of Charlie's Pub, observing Jackie at the bar with Greg. She was laughing hysterically, all over the scumbag. Hyde gritted his teeth. He couldn't believe she had gotten herself caught up with this guy.

Jackie shakily got up and stumbled towards the bathroom. He figured now was his chance. He walked towards the bar and took the seat where Jackie had been sitting.

"Hey man, that seat is occupied by my date," Greg said. He turned to see Hyde.

"Steven Hyde," Greg said.

"The one and only," Hyde answered.

"What are you doing here dude? I haven't seen you in ages."

"Yea, well I came here because I heard you've been hooking up with Jackie Burkhart," Hyde said.

Greg chuckled. "Yea man. She's a good time. What's it to you?" He asked Hyde.

"Stay away from her man," Hyde said. "She's too fragile right now," he added.

"Oh I get it," Greg said. "You're the guy who she was with that up and left her and married a stripper, when he wouldn't commit to marrying her."

Hyde gave Greg a strange look.

"Look man, I'm not sleeping with her if that's what you think. I could see how vulnerable the girl is, I couldn't go through with it. Then she started talking. And man she's annoying as hell. But I'm lonely myself and craved the company," he explained.

"You're not sleeping with her, but you got her hooked on coke?" Hyde asked.

"Look man, that was her own choice. I just offered."

Hyde shook his head. "Look man, just leave her alone and get out of her life. She can't be doing that shit," Hyde said.

Greg took a sip of his beer and sighed. "Alright dude. I got a warrant out for my arrest in this state anyways. I'll leave tonight," Greg said.

Hyde got up from the bar stool and slapped his hand on Greg's back. "Thanks man," he said.

"You want to stay for a beer?" Greg asked. "Jackie should be back in a minute."

"No thank man. Don't mention I was here either," Hyde said as he walked out the door.

* * *

Jackie woke up the next afternoon, nauseous and with a headache like usual. This was really getting to be a pain, but she had didn't know any other life anymore.

Jackie had stumbled in the door of her apartment the night before, alone for the first time in two weeks. Greg told her before the bar closed he had a warrant out for his arrest in the state of Wisconsin and had to leave that night. Jackie had given him a kiss goodbye and watched him go. She wasn't upset. She had nothing invested in the relationship. And if she really wanted to blow anymore lines of coke, she knew were to score it now anyways.

She stumbled out of bed and walked towards the kitchen, eager to grab a drink. She was shocked when she walked out and saw Fez there, along with the Forman's.

Kitty gasped at the sight of the girl she considered another daughter. She was thinner than usual, she had dark circles under her eyes, her lips were chapped, and her hair was thinning. The fire that used to burn bright in her eyes was also gone.

"Fez? What are you doing here? Why aren't you at work?" Jackie asked.

"Jackie, we are here to talk to you about what's been going on," Fez said.

"Nothing is going on," Jackie said.

"Jackie, you're out all night, you sleep all day. You smell like booze and cigarettes, and I know you're doing drugs," Fez said.

"Drugs? Fez I'm not doing drugs," Jackie said as she crossed her arms.

"Hyde said that guy you have been hanging out with is big into cocaine," Fez said.

"Steven should really butt out of my life," Jackie snapped.

"Jackie, honey, I really think we need to get you some help," Kitty said.

"No offense Mrs. Forman, I'm fine. I don't need any help. From anyone. Just…leave me alone!" Jackie screamed.

She ran back into her room and locked the door. She stood crying with her back to the door for a few minutes, as she listened to Fez and the Forman's try to reason with her. She knew they were right, but she wasn't ready to face those demons yet. She heard them say to let her be for now, and they would try again later. Jackie then started to throw clothes together in a bag.

She would be gone before they could try again.

* * *

Hyde groaned as he woke up the next afternoon, the night after he went to the bar and talked to Greg. He noticed Sam wasn't in bed or in the room. He walked into the basement and found her sitting in his chair with her arms crossed looking pissed.

"Hey," he grunted to her.

"Hello Steven," she said.

"You seem pissed," he said.

"Well you would be too if you listened to me all night moaning some other guy's name all night long," she said.

Hyde looked at her confused. "What are you talking about?"

"After you came home from the bar last night, to be Jackie's night and shining armor, you came to bed and started saying her name as soon as you fell asleep," she said.

"You have no idea what you're talking about," Hyde said defensively.

"Should I record you next time?" She asked him.

They sat staring at each other for a few minutes. Finally Sam broke the silence,

"I'm leaving," she said.

"What?" Hyde asked.

"You're clearly still in love with her. And I don't deserve that," she said.

"You knew that in Vegas," Hyde said.

"I know, I shouldn't have come here. But once I found out we had drunkenly got married, I felt I needed to come here and try to make it work. But I was so wrong. But, it's also ok," she said.

Hyde watched as she stood and started to gather her belongings. She stopped and kissed Hyde one more time.

"I'll send you the divorce papers in the mail. Go save her."


	3. Chapter 3

**Shattered**

**Chapter 3 – Stumble out in the night, **

**From the poring rain. **

**Made the block, sat and thought, **

**There's more I need**

**A/N – Still don't own anything**

Jackie had been driving around aimlessly for hours. She had no idea where she was going, no destination in mind. All she knew was that she didn't want to be anywhere near Point Place.

She had left early that morning, after Fez had left for work. She didn't want to run into him. She knew he would try to stop her. She had packed her essentials as fast as she could and jumped in her car. She had been driving around and hadn't had a drink in hours, and she knew she would need to stop soon for one. She rubbed her eyes, and then noticed an exit sign for Madison. Perfect, she though. A college town. There would be a lot of bars in the vicinity.

She followed the signs for the University of Wisconsin. It was only noon time, so she wouldn't be able to find any parties yet. She decided to stop at the liquor store for some vodka, and then find a motel room. She needed to find some place cheap, figuring she would need to stay at least a few nights while she figured out what she was going to do with herself.

She drove by a motel named Norm's, and noticed a bar next door called Norm's White Horse. Jackie figured it to be convenient and pulled in. She reserved a room for a couple of nights, and walked over to her room. She put her stuff down, and immediately took out the bottle of vodka. She also took out her vile of cocaine. She would need that as well. She settled in to have a party of one.

000

Fez walked into the apartment after a long day of work. He was hoping Jackie was still there, and hadn't gone out yet so he could try talking to her again.

"Jackie?" He called out.

No response, so he started walking around the apartment. Something didn't seem right. He walked into the bathroom and noticed her makeup and hair products were all gone. He then walked into her room and noticed there were clothes everywhere, but he could tell she had been packing. Fez walked out and slammed her door shut,

He couldn't believe she had left.

Ooo

Hyde sat in his chair in the basement with his arms crossed. As strange as it was being married to Sam, he felt at odds without having her hanging out with him in the basement. He had grown so accustomed to having a girl on his lap, whether it be Jackie or Sam, that it was weird not to have one there at the moment. He looked up when he heard the basement door open and Fez walked in.

"Hey Fez. What's up?" He asked.

"She's gone," Fez said.

"Who'd she Fez?" He asked.

"Jackie. She left this morning after I went to work," Fez said.

"Are you sure she isn't just out at a bar?" Hyde asked.

"No. Her makeup and hair products are gone. She packed clothes. She's gone," Fez said.

Hyde shrugged. "I'm sure she'll be back," he said with Zen.

"I'm not so sure about that. Mr. and Mrs. Forman and I kind of ambushed her last night about getting help for her drinking and the drugs," Fez said.

Hyde just looked over at Fez with a fraise eyebrow. He knew how bad of an idea that was. Jackie hated being ambushed by things when sober, let alone when she was loaded.

Fez looked around the basement for the first time with a confused look on his face. "Where's the stripper?" He asked.

"She's gone man," Hyde informed him.

"Well it's about damn time!" Fez exclaimed.

"Whatever," Hyde muttered as he stood up and walked towards the door.

"Where are you going?" Fez asked.

"Away from here," he said as he closed the door behind him.

Ooo

Hyde found himself walking into Charlie's Pub. It really unnerved him when Fez told him that Jackie had left and brought all her belongings with her. Especially after she had been ambushed by him and the Foreman's. Of course Jackie's first instinct would be to run.

He walked up to the bar.

"What can I get ya?" The bartender asked.

"How long have you been here?" Hyde asked.

The bartender gave him a strange look, but answered him. "Since we opened."

"Has there been a short, dark haired girl here at all today?" Hyde asked.

"Oh, you mean Jackie," the bartender said. "No, I actually haven't seen her today. First time in a long time, actually. Very strange. So what can I get ya?"

"Nah man, that's all I needed. Thanks man," Hyde said as he walked out of the bar. He knew he needed to find her.

Ooo

Jackie stumbled out of her room around 4:00. She knew she needed something to eat. She figured she would try the bar next to the hotel, Norm's White Horse. She stumbled up to the bar and sat down.

"What can I get ya pretty lady?" The bartender asked her.

Jackie tried not to slur as she answered him. She didn't need to be cut off before she even started. "A vodka rocks. And a burger."

"You got it," the bartender said with a wink. Jackie rolled her eyes. The last thing she wanted was to be hit on. She just wanted to drown in her own misery.

She nursed her drink as she waited for her burger to arrive. A couple of guys sat next to her and tried to engage her in conversation, but she had no interest.

Someone started playing music on the jukebox, and Jackie decided to get up and dance for a bit. She needed to burn off some steam, and the frustration she was still feeling from the confrontation with the Forman's and Fez. She snuck into the bathroom to blow a line first, so she would have a little more confidence.

Before she knew it, she had been at the bar for four hours. She was about to get up and leave to try and find a college party when she heard someone tapping a microphone. She turned to see a gentleman standing on a stage. She hadn't noticed the stage when she had walked in earlier.

"Hello, and welcome to all our patrons. Thank you for coming out tonight. The show will get started in a couple of minutes," said the gentleman standing on the stage.

Jackie leaned over to one of the guys sitting near her at the bar. "What's the show?" She asked.

The man looked over at her and grinned. "Strippers," he said.

Jackie wrinkled her nose. She just couldn't get away from skanky strippers apparently. She sat and watched as the first girl made her entrance and started to dance.

Jackie sat and watched, disgusted at the thought that she couldn't get away from these girls. She downed the rest of her vodka, and then marched to the back of the stage. She needed to find the owner of the bar. If she couldn't beat them, why not join them? She walked up to the man who had been on the stage earlier tonight.

"Excuse me?" She said as she walked up to him.

The guy looked at her stumbling form and smiled. "How can I help you?" He asked.

"Are you the owner?" She asked.

"I am," he said slowly. "My name is Norm," he said.

"I want a job," she said, pointing to the stage.

The guy looked her up and down. She was definitely hot, maybe a little too skinny. But she looked like she could be a crowd pleaser.

"Do you have any experience?" He asked her.

"No. But I was a cheerleader in high school," she said.

Norm looked at Jackie and smiled.

"You're hired!" he exclaimed.


	4. Chapter 4

**Shattered**

**Chapter 4 – It's always back to you;**

**But I'm good without ya; yea I'm good without ya**

**Yeah, yeah, yeah;**

**How many times can I break till I shatter?**

**Over the line, can't define what I'm after,**

**I always turn the car around**

**A/N: Still don't own a thing**

Jackie hugged her jacket around her body against the cold December air as she walked across the parking lot for Norm's White Horse to her motel room.

It had been two weeks since she asked Norm, the owner of the bar to be a stripper and he accepted. Each time she went out on the stage, a piece of her heart broke off and shattered. She was losing herself, but she didn't seem to care anymore. The money was good enough to help make ends meet, and for her to stay in the motel.

She opened the door to her room and sat down on the bed. As much as she didn't want to admit it, she was starting to get lonely. She has spent so much of her life around other people and being the center of attention. Being alone in a motel room all the time was starting to get extremely lonely.

She reached over to the night stand next to the bed to get her stash of cocaine. She noticed she only had a little left, and that she would need to go out and get more. She sighed as she pulled the remaining drugs out. She figured she may as well get high before she had to head out.

After she used the rest of the stash, she changed into warmer clothes and headed out. She stopped to light a cigarette. Smoking was something else the old Jackie would have never done, but the new Jackie just didn't care anymore. At this point she felt like she would rather be dead than alive.

She looked at her car and contemplated driving. She finally decided against it. The University of Wisconsin wasn't far. She could walk there in fifteen minutes, and it would be a lot safer than driving. She knew some rich college kid in a frat would have some cocaine for her. She headed off into the direction of where the closest frat house could be found.

OoooooO

Hyde walked down the basement stairs, sighing as he ran his hand through his hair. It was 2:00 A.M., and he had just got home after another unsuccessful night of looking for Jackie. He was hoping that he would be alone when he got to the bottom of the stairs,

He sighed again as he got to the bottom and saw Fez sitting in the lawn chair with Donna and Randy on the couch.

"What are you guys still doing here," he asked angrily.

Fez looked over at him with sadness in his eyes. "I hate being at the apartment alone, knowing Jackie should be there and isn't," Fez said.

"I just don't feel like being at home. And Randy likes being with me," Donna said as she smiled dreamily at Randy.

Hyde rolled his eyes behind his shades.

"Fez, suck it up and go home," Hyde said. "And Donna, go make out with Randy in your own room. I don't feel like being around anyone," Hyde said.

"Damn Hyde, you've been even more of an ass since Sam left," Donna said.

"Not getting laid, ya know. It sucks," Hyde said.

"Oh shut up Hyde!" Fez exclaimed. "You could care less about Jackie and if she's ok or not. You're out every single night at the bar getting drunk, probably celebrating that you don't have to deal with her anymore. Good day!" Fez exclaimed as he jumped up and ran out of the basement.

"You know what? Fez is right. You're an ass!" Donna exclaimed. "Let's go," she said as she grabbed Randy's arm and dragged him out of the basement.

Hyde sighed again once they were all gone. Fez couldn't have been anymore wrong. He was worried sick about Jackie, probably more so than everyone else because he was the reason she had gone off the deep end. He drove her to a life of drugs and alcohol.

"Dammit!" he yelled as he got up and kicked the round table in front of the couch. He had to find her, but he had no idea where she was. He had been to every bar in the area in the last 2 weeks, showing her picture to bartenders and regulars, but no one had ever seen her. And he knew the longer it took him to find her, the further away she was getting.

He ran back into his room and started packing a bag. This wasn't working anymore. If he was going to find Jackie, it was going to have to be a full time job. He couldn't keep coming back to the Forman's every night.

Before he left, he wrote Mrs. Forman a quick note letting her know what he was doing. He would call Randy in the morning and ask him to watch the store.

He was going to bring her back.

OooooooO

Jackie laughed as she bent her head down to blow a line of cocaine. She then passed the drugs on to the frat guy she was sharing the drugs with. She loved frat parties. She always knew she could have a good time at them, and could always find a boy willing to share his drugs with her. Of course tonight was no different. She had Brad hooked.

"So sweetie," he has said as he kissed her neck. "What's your name?" He asked her.

"Beulah," she answered. It was her middle name, and also her stripper name at Norm's.

"That sure is different," Brad said. "One I could never forget. Not that I could forget that gorgeous face of yours. Or that body," he said as he started to kiss her neck again.

Jackie pushes him off of her. She didn't want him getting too handsy with her. She never let these guys get anywhere beyond kissing her.

"You got anymore blow?" she asked him.

"Nah, no more blow. Plus you don't need any more of that stuff. You already did a lot. Don't been an over dose on my hands," he said. "How about some weed?" He asked her.

Jackie shrugged her shoulders. Drugs were drugs.

"So Beulah, where do you work?" He asked as he passed her the joint he had lit up. "I've never seen you around campus, I know you don't go to school here."

"I work over at Norm's White Horse," she said with a smile and a wink.

"Oh yea? You a stripper there?" He asked her.

She flipped her hair and winked at him again. "I guess you'll have to come by and visit some time to find out," she said as he passed the joint back to her and he started kissing her neck again.

OooooO

Hyde had been driving all damn night and all damn day, and yet felt like he was no closer to Jackie.

He found himself getting off the highway at the exit for Madison and the University of Wisconsin. He found himself figuring that Jackie could possibly be here since it was a college town with a lot of parties.

He looked at the clock on the dashboard and saw it was 6:00 and realized he was starving. He stopped at a diner next to some sleazy motel. He figured he would get something to eat, then head to campus and try to find a party.

He walked in and looked around. He studied everyone in there, figuring Jackie could either be a customer or an employee.

"Can I help you?" A waitress asked him.

"Yea, sorry can I get a table?" He asked.

"Right this way," she said and led him to a table in the back.

Hyde cleared his throat. "Um, excuse me, but have you ever seen this girl?" He asked as he pulled out a picture of Jackie.

The waitress studied the picture. "Yea, maybe once or twice. Never had a conversation with the girl though, so couldn't tell ya if she lives in the area or not." She said as she handed him the picture back and she walked away.

Hyde felt a glimmer of hope as she walked away. For the first time in two weeks, he felt like he might be close to her.

OooooO

Hyde walked into a frat house as a party was in full swing. He knew he needed to find a guy doing drugs in order to find out any info about Jackie. He moved his way through the crowd with a beer in his hand, studying everyone in the room. He stopped when he saw a few guys in the back of a room blowing lines of cocaine and smoking some joints. He took a joint out of his own pocket and sparked up.

"What's up?" He asked as he sat down next to them. The group of guys looked at him strangely. He knew how out of place he looked, but at this point he didn't care.

"Can I help you?" One of the preppy pretty boys asked him.

Hyde sighed. He figured it would be better to be direct.

"Look, I'm looking for someone. I have a feeling she's been here recently, so I was hoping you guys could help me," he said. He handed the picture of Jackie to the guys. The all passed it around and looked at it. The last guy who looked at the picture smiled.

"Hey man, I partied with her last night! She was a real trip. Man can that girl blow some coke. Whew, and drink!" He said.

Hyde felt his pulse quicken. "Do you have any idea where she is?" He asked.

The guy stopped for a second. "Are you some kind of stalker?" He asked.

"Nah man, she's my…sister. And I'm worried about her. She ran out a few weeks ago when my parents found out about her coke habit. I've been looking for her since. I'm worried about her man," Hyde lied.

"OK then. She told me last night she works at Norm's White Horse. It's the sleazy bar across the parking lot from the sleazy motel," he told Hyde.

Hyde patted the pretty boy on the back.

"Thanks man. You may have saved her life."

OoooO

Hyde walked into Norm's White Horse and cringed. It sure was sleazy. He looked over to a stage to see an even sleazier woman stripping. Jackie sure must have been desperate for money to be working here, he thought.

He walked up to the bar. "What can I get ya?" The bartender asked.

"A Budweiser," he answered. "And is this girl working tonight?" He asked as he handed the picture to the bartender.

"Sure is," he answered.

Hyde looked around. "Where is she?" He asked.

"She's around. You'll find her," he answered as he moved onto the next customer. He turned in his seat to study the bar. He didn't see her anywhere.

"Thank you Candy!" Announced the guy on the stage as the stripped left. "Next, we have a crowd favorite. Please out your money together for…Beulah," the guy said into the microphone.

Hyde's eyes widened as he turned to the stage and saw Jackie come out on the stage. He sat stunned in his seat as he watched Jackie move around the stage and strip like a professional. What on earth had happened to her?

He ran to the back of the stage. He needed to be there when she got off the stage. He was stopped before he could get to the back of the stage.

Can I help you?" Asked the burly bouncer.

"Yea. I need to see Jackie," he said.

"There's no Jackie here," he said with his arms crossed.

"Fine, Beulah," Hyde said.

"Nope, no fans allowed," he said not budging.

"I'm her boyfriend," he said. "Hyde"

The bouncer raised his eyebrow at him as he looked at him. "Yea, sure. Let me ask her that," he said as he turned around. Jackie's music had stopped and the next girl was being announced.

"Hey Beulah!" The bouncer called. "Some guy named Hyde is here and he's claiming to be your boyfriend," he said.

He could see around the bouncer and saw Jackie's eye widen. "I don't have a boyfriend," she said. "Especially one name Hyde," she said as she turned around.

The bouncer turned back to Hyde. "Sorry, nice try though," he said.

"Dammit!" Hyde yelled. He then turned around and ran out. He knew she was going to run,. And he was going to catch her.

He saw her run out the back door and across the parking lot and he chased after her. He sure hoped the bouncer wasn't watching, because he would be screwed.

"Jackie! Jackie!" he called as he ran after her, but she kept running. He caught up to her just as she got to the door of her motel room. She tried to shut the door on him, but he forced himself in the room. He wasn't letting her go that easily.

"Steven, what the hell?" She screamed. "Get out!"

"Jackie, I'm not going anywhere. Do you know how worried everyone has been for the last two weeks?" He asked her.

"Oh I'm sure. Maybe Fez has been. But I'm sure Donna has been too busy sucking face with Randy. And you're too busy sucking face with your whore. No one cares. What the hell are you doing here anyways? Won't skankaroo be pissed?" Jackie said.

"Jackie," Hyde said as he sat on the bed. "Sam is gone," he said.

Jackie sneered. "Can't keep a woman satisfied, can you Steve?" She said. "So what? You decided to come find me, thinking I am going to melt right back into your arms? Because you're wrong Steven. I have a new life now, I'm taking care of myself, and I don't need you!" She said.

"A new life? As a stripped Jackie? And you're not ok. You're drinking like a fish and doing cocaine like it's going out of style!" He said.

"Who are you to judge my life Steven" I'm not your problem anymore!" She exclaimed.

She was standing right in front of him now, and for the first time since he found her, he was able to get a good look at her. She had dark circles under eyes, and she was thin, too thin. Her hair had lost its shine, and the fire that used to burn in her eyes was gone. He had broken her. And he felt terrible about it.

"No, you are my problem! You always have bee, since the day I met you. I've always had this ridiculous feeling that I needed to protect you. And I have done that, every day since I met you. And over the last few months I have failed at that. I was an ass. I wanted you to feel what I felt every time I thought you and Kelso were screwing around. And I went too far. I went too far Jackie. And I'm sorry. I…I love you Jackie."

Jackie turned around after he was done. She closed her eyes. She didn't want to do this. She wanted to be stronger than this. She didn't need him.

"Steven," she started to say she turned around to look at him. When she did, she saw his aviators were off. The raw emotion was showing in his blue eyes, she could see the sincerity in them. As much as Jackie wanted to believe she didn't need Steven Hyde in her life, she knew she was fooling herself. It had been too long since she had been in his arms, since they had been together. She couldn't help it, they always seemed to find their way back to each other.

"Steven," she said again, before she jumped into his arms and kissed him with all the passions she had in her, and gave into the lust her body so badly craved.


	5. Chapter 5

**Shattered**

**Chapter 5 – I had no idea that the night**

**Would take so damn long**

**Took it out, on the street**

**While the rain still falls**

**Push me back to you**

_**December 25, 1979**_

Hyde sat in Red's pea green colored chair cracking his knuckles with a frown on his face. It was Christmas night, and the Forman's Christmas party was in full swing. Everyone was there having a great time, except for two people that Hyde felt deserved to be there the most; Jackie and Eric. Most importantly, Jackie.

She had promised him that she would go back with him. Yet another promise that she had made to him, and broken. He was over it, and he was over her. He had spent 10 days of bliss with her. All it had taken was ten days for him to fall back under her spell. But she didn't want him. That much was obvious when he went to her motel room that morning to get her, and she wasn't there.

_**Ten days earlier, December 14, 1979**_

Hyde woke up, and was confused by his surroundings and where he was. His head then started to clear, and remembered where he was. He was in the motel room at Norm's that Jackie had been staying at. He then grinned when he thought about the previous night, when he and Jackie had slept together, twice. He rolled over to kiss her, knowing he had her where he wanted her. It was time to take her home. However, when he rolled over, expecting to find Jackie, he found out he was alone.

He looked at the clock and saw it was already noon time.

"Jackie?" He called out.

He then got out of the bed and walked over to the bathroom to see if she was in there. He found it empty.

"Fuck!" He yelled out.

She probably figured he would be trying to take her home and had bailed on him. He got dressed and walked outside. He found her car still parked outside, and figured she was either at the diner or the bar. He walked over to the diner first.

"Would you like to be seated?" A waitress asked him.

"Nope, just looking for someone," he answered as he scanned the small diner. She wasn't there, so he turned around and walked over to the bar.

He walked in and immediately saw Jackie sitting at the bar. She definitely wasn't stupid, she knew he wouldn't cause a scene in her place of work. He slowly walked up to the bar and sat down next to Jackie. She was already nursing a vodka on the rocks, and her eyes were bloodshot. She was already high as hell as well.

"Jackie," he flatly stated as he sat down.

She glanced over at him as he sat down next to her. "Hi Steven," she said.

"Can we talk? Outside?" He asked her.

"Nope." She said. "Anything you want to talk about, can be talked about right here."

Hyde sighed. She was still stubborn as hell, and it was still infuriating. "Jackie, you need to come back to Point Place with me. Now," he stated firmly.

"No." was all she said, as she stared down at her drink, and took a drag from the cigarette in her hand.

"Jackie, come on. You know you need to. You can't live like this," Hyde said.

"Sure I can. I have been for three months. This is my life now Steven."

"Jackie, this isn't your life. Drinking, cocaine, stripping? The Jackie I know would turn her nose up at this life."

Jackie took a drag on her cigarette before she spoke. "The Jackie you know is dead. You killed her the moment your stripper wife showed up at the Forman's and you chose her over me."

Hyde sighed. "Jackie, I'm sorry, ok? It was easier for me, ok? It was easier for me to ask her to stay then have to face you and work it out with you. It was stupid of me, ok?"

"That's for sure," she muttered.

"Well fuck Jackie! None of it would have happened if you hadn't left Point Place before I gave you an answer, and if Kelso hadn't been in your hotel room in a towel!"

"I left because you were going to say no and leave me and I couldn't handle the rejection from you! God Steven, all I wanted was you, and confirmation that someday you would want to be married to me, that you saw a future with me! It's not my fault you weren't certain about me. And if you had stayed in Chicago for five minutes, you would know that Michael had taken a shower in my room before going to see Brooke. He asked to sleep with me and I turned him down. He was being the typical idiot he is when he came in and said that when you were there!"

Hyde sat for a moment stunned. That was the first time he had heard the explanation for what happened in Chicago. And did he feel stupid. He had ruined what he has with this girl over the stupidity of Kelso.

"Jackie, I was always certain of you being in my future. I went to Chicago to propose, even though the idea of marriage goes against all my beliefs. I was willing to do that for you."

"How was I supposed to know that, Steven? Before I left you said 'Have a nice trip.' That doesn't exactly scream I want to marry you!"

Hyde sighed. He had expected her to squeal and jump into his arms when he admitted he wanted to marry her. Instead she was being stubborn over it all.

"Jackie, if I tell you I want to marry you, will you come back to Point Place with me?"

"No."

He had enough. He stood up from the bar stool he had been sitting on. "Fine Jackie. You want to be a stubborn bitch and throw your life away? I can't stop you. But I'm done."

"Fine," she said as she stubbed out her cigarette.

Hyde walked out and got into the el Camino and sped off. He drove back to Point Place, stormed into his room, and smoked his stash to his head.

After hours of smoking, he got back in his car and drove back to Madison. She may be a stubborn bitch, but he wasn't going to give up on her that easily. He knew that if anyone was going to get through to her, he was the only one that could.

He got back to Norm's around 1:00 A.M. He knocked on Jackie's door, but there was no answer. He figured she was working. He debated going to the bar for a drink, but didn't want to watch her take her clothes off for everyone in the bar. He took a seat on the chair outside her room and waited.

Around 2:00 A.M. he saw her walking across the parking lot. She froze when she first saw him, and then she ran towards him when she saw him stand up.

"Steven!" She squealed, and she jumped into his arms. She started to attack him with kisses, and sucking on his neck and ears.

"Jackie…Jackie. Stop. Come on, Jackie…"

But he couldn't help himself. She was like a drug, and he couldn't get enough of her. As she continued to assault him with kisses, all he could think about was getting her inside the motel room and having his way with her. She always had the ability to make him lose all train of thought and cloud up his brain like he was high when she was kissing him.

The next day he woke up alone again. He found her at the bar again. He spent the day at the bar with her, and by the end of her shift was thoroughly drunk. They went back to her room, spent the night having sex, and then woke up alone again on the morning of December 16th.

Hyde walked over to the bar, frustrated.

"Jackie, this needs to stop. You need to come home with me."

Jackie sighed. "Steven, I'm not ready. I'm not ready stop with the cocaine and alcohol. I don't want to feel the way I felt before them."

"Jackie, you don't have to. I'm not going to abandon you again."

"I'll think about it. We'll discuss it after my shift."

Against his better judgment, Hyde started drinking when she went on, and was buzzed by the time she was done. She started assaulting him with kisses immediately, and once again he found himself naked in bed with Jackie.

The next three days and nights went the same way. On the morning of December 20th, Hyde finally woke up before Jackie. He was standing in front of the door when Jackie woke up. She gasped when she got up and saw him.

"Jackie, it's time to go home. You have clouded my brain with sex and alcohol for six days, and it has been enough. Let's go."

Jackie stared at him with wide eyes. "Well, umm, let me go to the bathroom and freshen up first!" She said with a large smile on her face.

Hyde sighed. "Fine, but make it quick."

Ten minutes later he was still standing by the door with no Jackie. He walked over to the bathroom door and knocked. "Jackie, I said make it quick!" There was no response and Hyde knocked again. "Jackie? Jackie!" He opened the door and saw she was gone. She had slipped out the bathroom window.

"Fuck!" Hyde then stormed across the parking lot and into the bar, and found her already high off cocaine and drinking.

"Fuck Jackie! I can't keep doing this! I'm done. I'm done trying to help you. If you don't come home with me right now, then me and you are done and will never be."

Jackie looked him in his eyes and smiled. "Fine."

"Jackie, you're high as shit. You have no idea what you're saying."

"Sure I do. Bye Steven." She said sweetly and turned back to her drink.

Hyde stormed out of the bar and back to Point Place. He was pissed when he got back and saw he wouldn't be alone. Fez was there along with Donna and Randy.

"Hyde! Where ya been?" Donna asked.

"On a six day bender."

"Oh, trying to mask the pain of Sam leaving?" Donna asked sympathetically.

Hyde looked over at Donna on the couch. She really didn't have a clue. She was so far gone with Eric being in Africa. "Yea, something like that," he muttered as he stood from his chair and went back to his room.

He spent the next three days trying to forget about Jackie. He smoked, he drank, he worked. But once again, she had worked her way back into his heart. He knew it was useless trying to forget her.

It was Christmas Eve when he finally went back to Madison to get her. He pulled up to her room around noon time, and she was outside smoking a cigarette. He slowly got out of the car and walked towards her.

"Jackie."

She looked up at him with big, blood shot eyes. She looked worse than usual. She was slowly slipping away.

"Hi Steven."

"Jackie, come on. It's Christmas Eve. You shouldn't be alone in a motel room on Christmas."

"I won't be. I'm working."

"Jackie, come on."

What's the point Steven? You told me if I didn't leave with you three days ago we would never be together. There's nothing left for me in Point Place."

"Jackie, I was angry when I said that. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. And you know Fez and the Forman's would love to see you."

Jackie sighed, and they sat in silence as she finished smoking her cigarette.

"Ok. Ok, I'll go. But please, let me work my shift tonight so I can tell Norm I'm leaving."

Hyde reached over and enveloped Jackie into a hug. "Thank you," he said.

"Come for me in the morning. I promise I will be here."

However, when he pulled up on Christmas morning, she was nowhere to be found, and her motel room had been cleaned out. Hyde left pissed off, and told himself that this time, he was done with her for good. That was the last time Jackie Burkhart would abandon him.

_**The morning of December 25, 1979 Norm's Motel**_

__ Jackie sat on the bathroom floor of her motel room, crying. In her hands was a pregnancy test, and she was waiting to see the results of the test.

She hadn't been feeling well the last few days, and at first thought it had to do with the drugs and alcohol, maybe she was doing too much. But she had built up such a tolerance, and been able to drink and blow lines with the best of them for weeks.

It was when she started throwing up that she knew something was wrong. She had been sick in weeks, unless she was withdrawing from the drugs and alcohol. She knew it was possible she was pregnant. She had slept with Hyde numerous times with protection, and she had stopped taking her birth control months ago. She finally dragged herself to the drug store the night before to get a pregnancy test, after Hyde had showed up to talk to her.

She waited until morning to take the test, as the directions stated she should do. And that's how she ended up on the floor of the bathroom in her motel room at Norm's at seven in the morning on Christmas day. She hadn't been able to sleep that night, and decided to get it over with.

After five minutes of waiting, Jackie brought herself to stand up and look at the stick that sat on the sink counter. It was time to determine her fate.

She slowly brought her eyes to the test. Pregnant. Jackie brought her hand to her mouth and gasped, as the tears started to flow harder.

She ran out of the bathroom and gathered her stuff together. She needed to get out of there before Hyde showed up. She couldn't face him, not with the news she now knew. She had to be quick if she didn't want to run into him.

She was in her car and out of the parking lot before he showed up. She took a deep breath and drove. She knew what she needed to do.

_**December 25, 1979 11:00 P.M.**_

__Fez walked into his apartment singing Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. He had just come from the Forman's Christmas party and had a great night. Hyde had been in a bad mood all night, and Donna had been too busy swooning over Randy. But Mrs. Forman had made pie and cookies. And Kelso had shown up with Brooke and Betsy. He had been so excited to see his handsome friend. Chicago was too far away, and he missed him so much.

He stopped signing when he realized the light were on in the apartment. He hadn't left them on when he had gone over to the Forman's. Something wasn't right. Then, he realized it must be Jackie.

"Jackie?" He called out. He walked into her room, and found it empty. He then walked into his room, and found a crying Jackie sitting on the floor at the foot of his bed.

"Jackie!"

"Fez!" She cried out.

He ran over and sat down with her and pulled her into his arms. She was so frail, and she looked so scared.

"My Goddess, what is wrong?"

Jackie is sniffled and looked up to Fez with big eyes.

"Fez, you're the only person I could come to. You're the only one who cares anymore. I'm in trouble, and I need your help."

"Jackie, of course, I'm here for you, just tell me what's wrong!"

Jackie sucked in her breath, preparing Fez for her news.

"I'm pregnant."


	6. Chapter 6

**Shattered**

**Chapter 6 – How many times can I break till I shatter?**

**Over the line can't define what I'm after.**

**I always turn the car around.**

**Give me a break let me make my own pattern.**

**All that it takes is some time but I'm shattered.**

_**December 27, 1979**_

Fez looked into his rear view mirror, and smiled at a sleeping Jackie in the backseat of his car. He then snuck a sideways glance to the person sitting next to him, Mrs. Forman. She caught Fez looking at her, and she took his hand and squeezed it and gave him a smile.

"We're doing the right thing," she assured him.

After Fez had found Jackie in his room two nights before and told him she was pregnant, he called Mrs. Forman immediately. He knew she would know exactly what to do. He asked her to come over right away, but not to tell anyone. Mrs. Forman was at their apartment in ten minutes.

The three of them sat up that night as Jackie detoxed from the alcohol and drugs out of her system. Mrs. Forman held Jackie's hair as she threw up everything that could possibly be in her, and Fez held her hand the whole way through. When Jackie wasn't sick, Mrs. Forman cradled her and stroked her hair, soothing her. It killed her to see one of her babies hurting and going through so much.

Once Jackie was feeling better and not throwing up, they sat in the living room to discuss the options Jackie had.

"Jackie, sweetie, the big question here is if you want to keep the baby," Mrs. Forman stated.

Jackie was quiet as she contemplated Mrs. Forman's question. She was truly clear headed for the first time in three months. She knew now was the time to make the decision before she did something destructive again that could harm her baby or herself.

"Yes, I do. But…I can't tell Steven," Jackie said.

Mrs. Forman and Fez had shared a look. "Jackie, Steven is the father, he has a right to know," Mrs. Forman said gently.

"I know that Mrs. Forman. But he's going to think I did this on purpose, like I tried to trap him. And I just can't deal with that right now. I need to take care of me, and my baby," Jackie said.

Mrs. Forman sighed. "I understand Jackie. What we need to do is get you into a rehab facility," Mrs. Forman said next.

Jackie's eyes widened. "What? No! I don't need to do that. I'm fine now, I can do this from here in the comfort of my own home," Jackie said.

"Jackie, No." Mrs. Forman said firmly. "If you are going to keep this baby, you need to go to rehab and get yourself cleaned up, body, mind, and soul. If you don't agree, I am driving you to the abortion clinic right now young lady!"

Jackie knew not to cross Mrs. Forman when she was mad or determined. She knew she had no choice if she wanted to keep her baby. "Ok," she finally agreed.

"Great. I know a great clinic right outside the Chicago area. I'll call right now to see if they have room for you," Mrs. Forman said as she got up off the couch.

Jackie leaned into Fez and cried on his shoulder. "Jackie, it's going to be ok," he assured her. "I will be by your side every step of the way along with Mr. and Mrs. Forman," he had told her.

Jackie just sniffled. "Thanks Fez, for being a trued friend."

Jackie stirred in the back seat of the car, stirring Fez out of his memory of the last few days. She coughed, and Mrs. Forman handed her some water.

"Are you ok sweetie?" Mrs. Forman asked.

"Yes," Jackie managed out hoarsely. "Are we almost there?" She asked.

"As a matter of fact, yes we are," Mrs. Forman told her as Fez pulled into a parking lot. Jackie stared out her window wide eyed. She wasn't so sure she could do. She was scared out of her mind.

Fez parked the car, and he got out along with Mrs. Forman. Jackie sat frozen in the back seat. Fez opened the door and offered her his hand. She reluctantly took it and got out of the car. She stood in the parking lot staring at the building. She gulped.

"Jackie, you can do this," Fez told her.

She closed her eyes and counted to ten. She knew she had to do this, for herself, and for her baby. "Ok, let's do this," she said firmly.

They walked in and Mrs. Forman got her checked in. They then walked Jackie to her room to make sure she got settled in ok.

"Ok Jackie, so you can't have any visitors for the first month while you get acclimated to the program and start your therapy. But you can bet that the first day you can have visitors I will be here with Fez and Mr. Forman." Jackie smiled and pulled the woman she considered like a mother into a hug.

"Thank you, Mrs. Forman, for everything," she said. "I couldn't have done this without you and Fez."

"Well, just take good care of yourself and my future grand baby," she said as tears choked her up.

"And please don't forget, don't tell Steven about the baby. You can tell him I'm in rehab, but not a word about me being pregnant," Jackie said. Fez and Mrs. Forman both nodded.

They were gone much sooner than Jackie would have liked. She had come to enjoy being alone over the last three months, but right now being alone was the last thing she wanted. Her room was cold and dark, and lonely. She turned to start putting clothes into a dresser when she heard a voice behind her.

"Well, well, if it isn't the pony loving princess midget."

Jackie cringed. She knew that voice, could place it anywhere. She turned around looked into the eye of who she was expecting to see. There ion her door way stood Laurie Forman.

"Whore," Jackie spat back.

"It's good to see you," Laurie said as she walked over and pulled Jackie into a hug. Jackie stood there speechless with her arms hanging by her sides. She then lifted them into a loose hug. She had no idea what was going on.

Laurie broke the hug and stood in front of Jackie. "I'm sure you're wondering why I'm here," she said. Jackie just stared at her. "This where I have been for the last year and a half," Laurie simply stated.

"In rehab?" Jackie questioned.

"My mom brought you here, right" Laurie said. Jackie just nodded. "Why do you think she knows about this place? I was brought here after Red and Kitty found me passed out in their bathroom with a needle in my arm," Laurie said.

Jackie gasped. "Heroin?" Jackie said.

Laurie just nodded. "I'm not proud of it. But my life had gone to shit and was spiraling completely out of control. I didn't want to come here, but Red and Kitty are pretty forceful. And I hate disappointing Red. But, it was the best thing they ever made me do. I did the six month program they offer. I loved it so much, and did so well they offered me a job. So I've been working here ever since."

"Wow Laurie. I'm sorry. None of us knew," Jackie said.

Laurie smiled brightly. "No need to be! I love my life now. I have my own place not far from here, and I take care of myself. And my relationship with Red and Kitty has never been better. Anyways, I talked to my mom yesterday and she told me she was bringing you here. At first I didn't believe her. Then she told me about the alcohol and cocaine, and about being knocked up. I know first hand how scary it is to come to this place alone. So I assured my mom that I would take you under my wing and make sure you get comfortable and acquainted with the place. I know you're probably a little apprehensive given our past, but I promise you I have changed."

Jackie stood for a moment, taking everything in. It was a lot to take in at first. But Jackie needed a friend, and Laurie was the closest she was going to get right now.

She smiled brightly at Laurie. "Ok Laurie. Let's do this."

_**January 2, 1980**_

Hyde stumbled out of his bedroom in the back of the basement. He had spent the last week boozing and sexing it up. He was pissed off and hurt by Jackie, and the best way he knew to get over her was under someone else. It was now 1980, a new decade, and he decided Jackie wasn't going to be a part of his life during this decade, if ever again. He hadn't seen her since Christmas Eve, so he had a pretty good feeling he would never have to see her face again.

He was hoping to be alone in the basement, but saw Fez, Donna, and Randy were already occupying the room, as well as Kelso who had visited from Chicago to ring in the New Year.

"Hyde, man, you look like shit!" Kelso yelled.

"Yea man. I've been partying it up for the last week. I'm exhausted," Hyde said.

He could feel Fez's eyes glaring at him. He looked up to meet his eyes. "What Fez?" He asked.

"Are you curious in the least about where Jackie is?" He asked him.

"No. Why would I be?" He asked back.

I don't know, maybe because you had spent 10 days in December in bed with her!" Fez yelled.

Donna and Kelso both gasped and looked over at Hyde.

"Yea so?" Hyde said flatly.

"Well, you obviously still care," Fez said.

"No man. It was a final fling. Had to get her out of my system," Hyde said.

"Are you sure you're just not upset she left you?" Fez said.

Hyde stood up angrily, knocking his chair over in the process. "Why do you know so much?" Hyde asked angrily,

"Because she showed up at our apartment Christmas night devastated! I sat with her all night as she detoxed, and then Mrs. Forman and I took her to rehab."

Hyde ran his hands over his face. He couldn't believe what Fez was telling him. He had asked her to go to rehab, he said he would take her, and she refused. Why on earth did she go running to Fez? He couldn't handle any of it.

"Fuck this. I'm going for a drink," Hyde said.

"Hyde, how can you just walk away?" He heard Donna ask.

"Because Jackie and I are done. There will never be anything between us, not even a friendship." And he stormed out of the basement with a slam of the door.

_**January 28, 1980 – Donna**_

Jackie had officially been in rehab for a month. She was feeling better than she had in months. She was going to therapy, and learning about her addiction and how to control it. She was also meeting with a psychologist about her past, present, and her future with her baby. She was growing a strong friendship with Laurie of all people, and for the first time in months, she was finally starting to feel happy.

The day prior was the first day Jackie could have visitors, and true to their word Mr. and Mrs. Forman visited along with Fez. It was great to see them and hug them. The Forman's were like surrogate parents, and Fez was like a brother. They promised to visit once a week on Sunday's. Laurie was happy as well, since it meant she got to see her parents more often than once a month. She also seemed to be getting a little cozy with her ex-husband, Fez. Everyone seemed to be healing

Jackie sat in her room on the afternoon of the 28th reading a magazine when there was a knock on her door. One of the aids informed her that she had a visitor. Jackie had no idea who was visiting her, but told the aid to bring them back. Her heart beat fast in her chest, worried that Hyde was the one that had dropped by. She relaxed a little when she saw Donna appear at the door way.

"Hi Jackie," she said nervously. "You look good," she said as she wrung her hands with nerves.

"Oh, come here you big lumberjack," Jackie said as she pulled Donna into a hug. She felt Donna's shoulders heave as she started to cry.

"Jackie, why are you being so nice to me? After I've been so horrible to you?" Donna sobbed.

"Donna, it's ok, we were both going through a lot. Neither of us was supporting the other," Jackie said.

"That's not fair Jackie. I was way more horrible to you. I told you that you and Hyde were better off apart. I invited Sam into my home and treated her life a friend, when she wasn't that at all. And then I threw myself at Randy to ease my pain of losing Eric, while you needed me the most!" Donna sobbed.

Jackie nodded her head. "Yes Donna, all of that is true. But I forgive you. You were hurting and needed me, but I was too busy wallowing in my own self-pity over Steven."

"How can you forgive me so easily?" Donna asked.

"It's a part of my therapy. I'm learning to let go and forgive. This is my first opportunity to try out what they have been teaching me."

"I didn't know it hurt you so much. I don't know, I guess I never thought you and Hyde were so serious and were really in love," Donna said.

Jackie smiled. "We were Donna. But how could you ever know how we really felt for each other? You never could have, you weren't in the relationship. I'm just sorry I turned to drugs and alcohol to cope. At least you turned to a safer route of a guy," Jackie said with a smile. That then prompted a smile out of Donna as well.

"What in the world was I thinking with him?" Donna said.

"Does that mean you broke up with him?" Jackie asked.

"Yea. After Fez told us you were here, it put a lot into perspective for me. My main concern was coming here and repairing our friendship. Eric will be next."

"Well you have nothing to worry about with me. We're good Donna. Just please don't do that to me ever again."

The two old friends hugged, and spent the afternoon catching up. It felt good for the both of them to have each other in their lives again.

_**February 2, 1980 - Hyde**_

IT had taken him a month to work up his courage to go, but Hyde knew he had to go see her. He had to find out why she went to rehab willingly with Fez, but wouldn't go when he had suggested it to her.

He had tried to get her out of his head over the last month with no success. She was like an infection that just wouldn't go away. She was a part of him now, and this may be the only closure he would ever get.

He walked into the rehab clinic Jackie was staying at, and walked up to the front desk. He cleared his throat. "Um, I'm here to see Jackie Burkhart," he said nervously.

The aid looked up to him and told him one moment. She walked back about five minutes later and asked him to follow her. He walked down a short wall. They stopped at the end of the hall, and the aid turned into a room.

"Miss Burkhart, your visitor," she announced and walked away. Hyde walked slowly into the room behind her.

"Steven!" She gasped.

He stood in the doorway staring at her. She had never looked more beautiful to him. She had put some weight back on, and her hair was shiny again. The dark circles under her eyes were gone, and her eyes were sparkling. The fire hadn't returned yet, but he knew that would be back in time.

"Umm, hi Jackie," he mumbled.

"Well, are you going to just stand there?" She asked. "Come in."

He walked in and sat on the bed. "You look good," he said.

"Thank you. I feel good."

Hyde nodded. He hated the small talk, he wanted to get down to it.

"Jackie, why are you here?" He asked.

"Because I need to be Steven. This is the best place for me right now," she said.

"I suggested rehab to you when we were in Madison."

Jackie sighed. "I know you did. I wasn't ready then."

"So when you were ready, why did you go to Fez for help? You knew I would help you."

"Because Steven. I need to do this on my own. I need to get better on my own. I can't have you saving me this time. I need to learn to be on my own, to save myself. And I need to get over you. For good."

Hyde looked at the determination in her eyes, and knew she was serious. "Fine. If that's what you want, I'm out. Have a good life Jackie. I hope you can kick this and stay sober. Good luck"

Jackie watched as he left, and the tears started to flow down her cheeks. It just never seemed to be the right timing for the two star crossed lovers. She wanted to run after him, beg him to stay. But she knew she needed to stand her ground. He would have bailed anyway once he found out she was pregnant. It hurt less this way, knowing it was only her he didn't want. Knowing he wouldn't want both her and their un born baby would hurt even more. At this point, she needed to do what was best for her and the baby, and right now, letting Hyde walk away was the best thing for her, no matter how much it hurt.


End file.
